It's good that you've realised there's a problem what you now need to realise is what's causing it. (it's you!)
From what you've described I think you seriously need to undertake some advanced rider training before it's too late.
Not hitting traffic that's moving in the same direction as you is a basic riding skill.
All good riding starts with observation. There are so many more clues that a car is going to stop than just the rear lights.
Have a chat with some of the advanced riders on here or give Bikesafe a call and find out when their next workshop is.
Ride safe!