"I used to have a bike..."

[wiltshire builders]

Why do people (middle aged men)
Feel the need to strike up a conversation (start lying) about how they used to own a bike.
My new neighbour saw my wife's street triple and started telling me how he loved bikes and used to ride. Naturally I asked him what he had.
His response: "Uh...oh...uh...what was it again...? I think it was an FZR 250"
There's not a member on this forum who couldn't tell me what their previous bikes were.
Last month whilst admiring some cars in a Ferrari garage, I had a stranger approach me and start telling me about his Kawasaki zxr 1000.
2 points to note:
1.I wasn't wearing any kit or with my bike so I have no idea why he thought I'd be interested.
2.They never made a zxr 1000.
Anyone else experience this or am I some kind of ar*eh*le magnet?

[Dabz]

My pet peeve is "I couldn't have a bike, I'd kill myself"

You wouldn't say "I don't go swimming because I'd drown myself" or "I don't do any cooking because I'd accidentally knife myself to death" but somehow it's not moronic to say that riding a bike would result in instant death

[wiltshire builders]

My pet peeve is "I couldn't have a bike, I'd kill myself"

You wouldn't say "I don't go swimming because I'd drown myself" or "I don't do any cooking because I'd accidentally knife myself to death" but somehow it's not moronic to say that riding a bike would result in instant death

That really made me laugh!
You're quite right.
"I'd kill myself " sounds a lot more macho than "I'm scared that I might get knocked off and hurt myself "
I might use the cooking excuse thought...

[BB]

Love those analogies, Dabz. One of my stock replies is 'you could fall down stairs and kill yourself'

Exactly! WB

And if you do fall off and injure yourself it's the old 'of course you will give up biking now?' err, no. No one ever suggests giving up cars after an accident.

[BB]

I recall an incident years ago where an old duffer said to my then OH, 'I used to have one of those, same colour too'. The bike being a Suzuki engine & tank, Norton framed parts bin special he had knocked up just because he could, sprayed a blue he had liberated from the paint shop of the place he worked at.

[DC]

"I don't do any cooking because I'd accidentally knife myself to death"

I'll still be laughing about this tomorrow , I might even try using it as an excuse myself .

[Trev]

[QUOTE=Dabz;491325]

"I don't do any cooking because I'd accidentally knife myself to death" /QUOTE]

is just one of the ways Mrs Smith thinks I could kill myself if I ever did try to cook and she continues to protect me from cooking based harm to this day

[Scotty]

That really made me laugh!
You're quite right.
"I'd kill myself " sounds a lot more macho than "I'm scared that I might get knocked off and hurt myself "
I might use the cooking excuse thought...

Often heard, sadly from eejits who think that it makes them sound like a crazed speed demon whom we should all admire, but it's a euphemism for "I'd be a crap rider with no idea what to do and a desperate need to impress others and likely make a total tit of myself"

[Burbler]

No one ever suggests giving up cars after an accident.

My dad did !

My girlie friend and I were going to my brother's wedding with dad in the two-tone silver / mauve Cresta.

We were t-boned by an old ice cream van driven by a student. He came straight on at a downhill left hand bend and hit us (coming tother way) partially onto the pavement.

Girlie and I got a taxi, dad had to stay at the scene.

He never drove again when the car was written off.

[WR6133]

Try owning Enfields, they bring people out of the woodwork anywhere. Random woodblock miles from anything...... "Oh, Hi mate, is that a Norton? I had a 1200cc norton trials-cafe-scrambler that I rode in Pro trials in 1968. What's that lever for? Oh a decompressor, so you pull that to go faster? Yeah I had one of them on mine too made it do a ton"

My pet peeve is "I couldn't have a bike, I'd kill myself"

I always take that as "I'm pussywhipped and she won't let me have one".