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Thread: Reporting benefit fraud

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  1. Reporting benefit fraud 
    #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    The Shire
    Posts
    3,804
    From FB

    Hotline: Benefit Fraud Hotline, can I help?
    Me: Yes, I'd like to report benefit fraud.
    Hotline: Ok, can I have the name and address of the person?
    Me: Yes, it's David Cameron, number 10, Downing Street.

    long pause...........

    Hotline: I'm sorry, can you say that again, do you mean the 'David Cameron'? What evidence do you have that he has committed fraud?
    Me: It's on record he claimed Child Disability Allowance even though he is rich and would easily have had over £16,000 in savings. How does he circumvent the nationwide rule of applying for benefits when clearly not needing them, or qualifying under your regulations?

    Hotline: So you want to report David Cameron?
    Me: Erm... I believe that is what I said.. twice now.
    Hotline: Let me get my manager.
    Me: (Sighs) .. ok, get your manager.

    Manager: Can I help you?
    Me: You seem to need me to repeat myself before taking a report, is that deliberate, or are you willingly accepting responsibility for not doing your job, therefore forcing me to phone the police regarding your complicity in this case? I believe your colleague has already told you what I am reporting? I want documented evidence sent to my address, that you are dealing with my request and performing the necessary investigations please.

    Manager: I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
    Me: That's ok Pauline Toner, I heard your colleague calling you over the phone and I can report you for being an accessory, if that's what you want? I think you should apply for benefits as 'unfit for work' considering you are deaf. You shouldn't be answering the telephone. Please get your manager to call me, regarding your unprofessional conduct and tell him I want a call back today. Thanks.

    THE BENEFIT FRAUD HOTLINE number if anyone wants to help: 0800 783 9668. Speak to Mrs Pauline Toner who likes to pretend she is deaf.


    ;D
     
     

  2. Re: Reporting benefit fraud 
    #2
    camera.op76
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Swanny
    From FB

    Hotline: Benefit Fraud Hotline, can I help?
    Me: Yes, I'd like to report benefit fraud.
    Hotline: Ok, can I have the name and address of the person?
    Me: Yes, it's David Cameron, number 10, Downing Street.

    long pause...........

    Hotline: I'm sorry, can you say that again, do you mean the 'David Cameron'? What evidence do you have that he has committed fraud?
    Me: It's on record he claimed Child Disability Allowance even though he is rich and would easily have had over £16,000 in savings. How does he circumvent the nationwide rule of applying for benefits when clearly not needing them, or qualifying under your regulations?

    Hotline: So you want to report David Cameron?
    Me: Erm... I believe that is what I said.. twice now.
    Hotline: Let me get my manager.
    Me: (Sighs) .. ok, get your manager.

    Manager: Can I help you?
    Me: You seem to need me to repeat myself before taking a report, is that deliberate, or are you willingly accepting responsibility for not doing your job, therefore forcing me to phone the police regarding your complicity in this case? I believe your colleague has already told you what I am reporting? I want documented evidence sent to my address, that you are dealing with my request and performing the necessary investigations please.

    Manager: I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
    Me: That's ok Pauline Toner, I heard your colleague calling you over the phone and I can report you for being an accessory, if that's what you want? I think you should apply for benefits as 'unfit for work' considering you are deaf. You shouldn't be answering the telephone. Please get your manager to call me, regarding your unprofessional conduct and tell him I want a call back today. Thanks.

    THE BENEFIT FRAUD HOTLINE number if anyone wants to help: 0800 783 9668. Speak to Mrs Pauline Toner who likes to pretend she is deaf.


    ;D
    Hahahaha love it!
     
     

  3. Re: Reporting benefit fraud 
    #3
    Senior Member voodoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Trowvegas
    Posts
    646
    brilliant ;D
     
     

  4. Re: Reporting benefit fraud 
    #4
    Platinum Member Conehead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Salisbury
    Posts
    1,511
    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
    When it's your time to go it's your time, so don't let it catch you.
     
     

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