Pride comes....

So there I was Christmas day morning on my way over to see family in Southwick, laden with presents in my nice little black Civic (Type R Chav Special) when looming up behind me a noisy Subaru Impreza storms, racing blue with graphics and a young chap in about the same age as my favourite pair of jeans.

He must have just got up as he hadn’t time to put his back-to-front baseball cap on yet and seemed impatient to get round me (my guess on the way to see what Santa had brought him in the way of Halfrauds go-faster stuff).

He obviously wanted to have a bit of fun (read “race“) but being a "man of maturity" I wasn’t drawn into it and simply went on at the legal speed limit (officer) 8-)

Now I’m not sure why, but he somehow wasn’t able to overtake me all the way to Southwick and I stayed in the lead (sorry, forgot myself, I mean in front of him) until the right hander into Southwick when he braked way early and admitted defeat [smiley=vrolijk_26.gif]

I triumphally turned into my destination, and seeing the compacted snow and ice there made the hasty decision to do a Jeremy Clarkson style handbrake turn 180 degrees to park up.

Well the first part went really well, the back end flew round (OK, a bit faster than I expected) but then things took on a bad turn. The front end lost traction, and rather than a gentle pirouette to park facing the right way, I slammed side on straight into the curb with a sickening metallic thump.
It was quite a pity, as when I put my nice new black alloys on less than a month earlier they really looked good !

So, apart from a puncture and two wrecked alloys I have a wine from the rear end that makes the car sound a bit like a Spitfire on a strafing mission, it sounds very expensive.

My replacement wheels are out of stock in the UK and they only sell them as a set, and I’ve yet to find out what the horrid noise was (is), as it’s parked up until I can get some wheels

What I should have done was 1) indicated left to let young gentleman round me and 2) pulled up on the ice in a slow, sensible and age befitting manner.

I write this as yet another warning about the dangers of mixing vehicles (two or four wheeled) and us men :-/

PS. sorry to the two ladies who witnessed my "parking" especailly the one who I briefly saw putting her hands over her eyes :o

sounds to me like an adrenaline packed Christmas morning. And better the damage to the vehicle instead of you, or anyone else for that matter.

Oops.........classic Gerry that you could make it read so funny, hope its not too expensive.

I blame:

1, Youthful exuberance.
2, Being such a goody-goody as a teenager.
3, The Subaru driver.
4, Being such a goody-goody as an adult.
5, The weather (ie God).
6, Jeremy Clarkson.
7, Can't think of reason seven.
8, Christmas :)

Jerry that’s so funny im still chuckling to myself now it's the way you tell um Ps hope you get the car sorted soon
;D ;D ;D

Just buy an off roader Gerry ;D ;D ;D

That was Christmas morning and you have only just come clean?

Sorry to hear about the damage to pride & pocket ;D ;D

BB :-*

Ouch Gerry...

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Originally Posted by Gerry

I blame:....

6, Jeremy Clarkson.

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;D

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Originally Posted by Blackbonnie

That was Christmas morning and you have only just come clean?

Sorry to hear about the damage to pride & pocket ;D ;D

BB :-*

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I've been sulking for a while, but I did think it was funny, one minute Colin McRae, the next Crashy McGee ;D

Can only say one thing... ohhhhh Gerry! lol :o

And I thought you were a good boy :P

I cant stop laughing if I am honest. Thought you would have had that out your system by now :-P

Shame about the motor though, as for the sound, could be as little as a bend disk on the rear, at worst, a knackered axle, hope its not too expensive!

Awwww Gerry.....if only it had gone the way you wanted....how cool would you have been......but to be honest, I gave up being cool a long long time ago and just became me hehe.....and learnt to laugh at myself like everyone else does......you are an absolute legend when it comes to writing about your encounters and I hope it doesnt sound to mean to say I can't wait for the next incident you have 'cos you really discribe everything so well......love n hugs to our literary expert and fingers crossed for the car to be able to fixed inexpensively xx :) ;D :) ;D

Oh Gerry what you like, think we should put a restriction on your vehicles ;D just as well you were not in your Supra ;D ;D

Gerry
I'm sorry but I can't stop myself laughing ;D ;D

As for the noise it sounds to me as though you have given the wheel bearings a bit of a shock, and have probably damaged the "races" in the hub :o

Obviously the sound needs to be heard but if its a rumbling type noise then that is what I would look towards first [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Hope it is not to expensive :) Now slow down you old fool :D :D

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Originally Posted by noisy_lightning

I cant stop laughing if I am honest. Thought you would have had that out your system by now :-P

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Hope I never get having a bit of fun out of my system, can't wait to be really old as I'm sure you can get let off all sorts of wickedness ;)

If anybody sees me doing 25mph in a Rover you have my permission to shoot me - thumbs-up-but can't-be arsed-to-search-for-it-smiley !

:)

Gerry
Wanna buy a tank? Fairly indestructable unless of course you start a [s]r[/s][s]ace[/s] matched pace dawdle with a nuclear missile launcher [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Now there's an idea :D

Off road, on road, anywhere you please really ;D

Sounds just my sort of vehicle !

Let me know when you are practicing your hand brake turns in your tank Gerry so I can fly out of the country. ;D ;D ;D

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Originally Posted by Robf

sounds to me like an adrenaline packed Christmas morning. And better the damage to the vehicle instead of you, or anyone else for that matter.

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That.

Little update, as I know some of you will be itching to see how much my 2.5 seconds of fun cost me (in addition to my wounded pride) :-/

Found two wheels to match (in the UK too) and got them fitted, stll sounds a bit like a Spitfire as I thought it would !

In the garage at the mo to find out why, suspected wheel bearing.

Cost per second so far: £79.60 :(

Tune in for the next thrilling instalment of "small IQ versus big kerb" next week ;D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gerry

Little update, as I know some of you will be itching to see how much my 2.5 seconds of fun cost me (in addition to my wounded pride) :-/

Found two wheels to match (in the UK too) and got them fitted, stll sounds a bit like a Spitfire as I thought it would !

In the garage at the mo to find out why, suspected wheel bearing.

Cost per second so far: £79.60 :(

Tune in for the next thrilling instalment of "small IQ versus big kerb" next week ;D

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I feel the need to *like* this... lol ;D

Last little update from me before I forget about my Christmas day morning fun (read madness) forever 8-)

Cars back together complete with two shiny wheels and a nice new rear wheel bearing.

Now another £215.00 less well off for the fitting & new bearing.
So - my 2.5 seconds of fun cost me £414.00, this works out at £165.60 per second.

Admittedly, the first second was good as the back end swept majestically round on the ice, but not that good :-/

At £165.60 a second I'm sure I could have got Jordan to give me a personal lap dance, wearing only some cheap perfume whilst she fed me chocolate :D

So, my days of rashness are at an end and from now on I'm going to a sensible, responsible adult -

although saying that the "Wizards of Nos" are doing a special deal for a NOS kit to fit the Supra, this would give me about 550 BHP (although only until the bottle ran out) ;D

"There's nothing like the smell of Nitrous Oxide in the morning" :)

Get thee behind me Satan 8-)

G ;)

Ouch, I do feel sorry for you now, esp at 165.60 a second. Still this all leads me into some advice...... Learn by doing!

Gerry, that's a ridiculous amount of money..You poor thing :( Well at least its all fixed and you know not to attempt it again.

(but it did make me laugh reading the thread, sorry lol)

Roxy xx

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Originally Posted by Gerry

my 2.5 seconds of fun cost me £414.00

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Crikey, that's an expensive hooker!

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Originally Posted by Squashed_Fly

[quote author=Gerry link=1294682516/21#21 date=1296583388] my 2.5 seconds of fun cost me £414.00

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Crikey, that's an expensive hooker!
[/quote]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Cue full belly laugh.

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Originally Posted by roxychick

Gerry, that's a ridiculous amount of money..You poor thing :( Well at least its all fixed and you know not to attempt it again.

(but it did make me laugh reading the thread, sorry lol)
Roxy xx

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"Not to attempt it again" ha - where would we be if Sir Edmund Hillary had said that on his first attempt on Everest, or Captin L Oats had given in at the South Pole (OK so he did die a bit admittedly) but you get my drift) :-/

Next step it a Big carpark with no curbs in the rain ;D

I'll handbreak turn on the beaches, in the car parks and on the streets, I shall never be defeated :D

G
PS, just think what I could have bought with the money (I don't have) :(

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Originally Posted by Gerry

[quote author=roxychick link=1294682516/23#23 date=1296586937]
Gerry, that's a ridiculous amount of money..You poor thing :( Well at least its all fixed and you know not to attempt it again.

(but it did make me laugh reading the thread, sorry lol)
Roxy xx

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PS, just think what I could have bought with the money (I don't have) :([/quote]

Well for starters the Supra would now have a NOS kit!

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Originally Posted by Gerry

At £165.60 a second I'm sure I could have got Jordan to give me a personal lap dance, wearing only some cheap perfume whilst she fed me chocolate :D

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I think I will stick with the damaged car, there are some girls I would pay £165 for a lap dance, and Jordan isn't one of them, I wouldn't pay her a £1 for a lap dance, or for anything, well maybe for a copy of her suicide video, but then it will probably be fake, like the rest of her.

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Originally Posted by swarwick

[quote author=Gerry link=1294682516/21#21 date=1296583388]At £165.60 a second I'm sure I could have got Jordan to give me a personal lap dance, wearing only some cheap perfume whilst she fed me chocolate :D

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I think I will stick with the damaged car, there are some girls I would pay £165 for a lap dance, and Jordan isn't one of them, I wouldn't pay her a £1 for a lap dance, or for anything, well maybe for a copy of her suicide video, but then it will probably be fake, like the rest of her.[/quote]

Can i take it for granted that you dont like Miss Price? :o

Well if I'm honest, I'm not keen either on young Katie (although she can look fab in some still pics) !

If we're going have a think about it (and why not) ;)
it would be a toss up between Natalie Portman and Andrea Corr :o with Jennifer Connelly coming a close third.
Guess I'm not really into blondes when I think about it :-?

G :)

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Originally Posted by Gerry

Well if I'm honest, I'm not keen either on young Katie (although she can look fab in some still pics) !

If we're going have a think about it (and why not) ;)
it would be a toss up between Natalie Portman and Andrea Corr :o with Jennifer Connelly coming a close third.
Guess I'm not really into blondes when I think about it :-?

G :)

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Nahhh, Kate Beckinsale... :-*

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Originally Posted by Taylor86

[quote author=Gerry link=1294682516/30#30 date=1296673818]Well if I'm honest, I'm not keen either on young Katie (although she can look fab in some still pics) !

If we're going have a think about it (and why not) ;)
it would be a toss up between Natalie Portman and Andrea Corr :o with Jennifer Connelly coming a close third.
Guess I'm not really into blondes when I think about it :-?

G :)

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Nahhh, Kate Beckinsale... :-*[/quote]

OK - if you insist ;)

G

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gerry

[quote author=Taylor86 link=1294682516/31#31 date=1296688679][quote author=Gerry link=1294682516/30#30 date=1296673818]Well if I'm honest, I'm not keen either on young Katie (although she can look fab in some still pics) !

If we're going have a think about it (and why not) ;)
it would be a toss up between Natalie Portman and Andrea Corr :o with Jennifer Connelly coming a close third.
Guess I'm not really into blondes when I think about it :-?

G :)

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Nahhh, Kate Beckinsale... :-*[/quote]

OK - if you insist ;)

G[/quote]

so picky.....

If it's got a pulse....

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Originally Posted by Gerry

...
PS, just think what I could have bought with the money (I don't have) :(

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...Erm, a nice tidy little track bike maybe? ;)