Vacancies !!!

An ability to participate in a game of football is a requirement of the positions.

One or Two individuals will be selected to prevent a ball going into the net. These will be 'Goalkeeper' positions and agility and anticipation of opposition moves in order to gain possession of the ball is deemed of paramount importance.

Wages by negotiation but will not be a limiting factor although previous employees eventually suffered a form of brain paralysis due to lavish lifestyles which caused them to forget exactly what they were meant to do when called upon to perform their allotted tasks.

Please send C.V. to Mr A. Wenger c/o Arsenal Football Club.

Thankyou and Mr. Wenger looks forward to any enquiries :)