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Gerry
11-07-10, 10:06 PM
Let me set the scene OK.

There was I this afternoon blatting down to Swanage, I'd got past the cameras near Blandford and on the back roads cutting through to Wareham.
All’s well with the world and I’m practicing going round the bends a bit faster with each (as you do) ;)
The birds were singing, the sky was blue and I was feeling as perky as a perky person can [smiley=vrolijk_26.gif]

OK, so I maybe was full of the joys of spring and not exactly thinking 100% about my fast approaching bends, but I got round them OKish (as you do) ;)

I sped round the left fork off the A31, past the World End pub towards Morden, round the tighter left hander a few hundred yards down the road looking (I thought) a little like a sun drenched yellow Rossi, I’m sure the cows were mooing their admiration as this yellow blur rocketed past them.

A nice half mile straight next (and no cars to get in the way) and the VTwin was singing like a Banchee (not sure what a Banchee is but I’m sure I’ve heard the expression and assume their singing must be loud and nice engine like in a VTwinny sort of way) anyway I digress. This next right hander is tight and has a small lane coming off it that you could use as an escape road if you over cooked it - and no, I didn’t need to OK, !

Approached the bend possibly a little to rapidly what with the sun and the birds etc etc and next thing I see was a little Golfy type car approach my road from the lane the other side of the bend and stop. Now that all sounds OK (well apart from the speed issue thingy) so I hit the brakes hard and said a few words of prayer to the God of Braking, not sure which one he / she is but threw in a few swear words as well just to be safe.
All was OK...

Looked at my (well yellow Rossi’s) line, and then spotted HER - the “Woman Driver” I need to describe her really.
She was mid twenties, fair long hair tied back with a sort of headband thing on and sunglasses perched on the head in a “top totty” way.

Then she did it - she smiled a beautiful smile at me (thank God for dark visors I say) and her whole face lit up looking like a film star.

I did the gentlemanly thing and gave her my best macho nod and then looked at the bend !
In this half second or so of beautiful blondness the bend had moved right in front of me and my “line” had disintegrated into sort of a “curvy sway”.
I looked where I was heading, not where I wanted to go (as you do) and it was a big bank of gravel and a grassy bank.
Oh poo I thought (and nearly did) and I braced myself for some impromptu off roading although only about six inches off or so you understand, even Rossi has done this, I’ve seen him.
Then followed a sort of amusing wobble for about the next thirty yards as I realised that if I just turned right back onto the road I may make my situation worse [smiley=undecided.gif]

To make it more worse, Miss “Daddy bought me my nice little car and I know I’m gorgeous” followed me up the road, no doubt a little less impressed at my yellow devil-beast of a sports bike and my riding skills.

So, be warned fellow gentlemen riders “Women Drivers are dangerous” and I recommend any parents of attractive young ladies to only let them out at night or warn them not to smile at “gentlemen of a certain age” as they would be fully responsible (except in a court of law) if said gentlemen came to grief on the road.

Ignore this at your peril !

Gerry

Beamer
11-07-10, 10:30 PM
Gerry.......It's got to be said......You are so wasted in your job......you have such away with words and I'm sure you could write a book.
Absolutely brilliant.....you make reading things a pleasure and never fail to make me chuckle with how you manage to create such great stories (and poems of course)
Well done you.
And thank you for making me go to bed with a great big smile on my face lol........and all for totally innocent reasons

You are great xxx

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Gerry
11-07-10, 10:37 PM
Well I spend most of my working life writing proposals / quotations for equipment that people need, but don't really want, so it makes a nice change to take the sites bandwidth up with the drivel that I produce in the evenings ;)

Pleased it makes you laugh [smiley=thumbsup.gif]
..........

QUOTE: "thank you for making me go to bed with a great big smile on my face"

I may use this as my new signature on here [smiley=happy.gif]

Gx

Nico_babe
11-07-10, 10:38 PM
Gerry,

You need to teach me those swearwords and the prayers you said to the breaking God. I think i need it myself.

[smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Gerry
11-07-10, 10:42 PM
I did think of you when I wrote it down, can happen to any of us (especially us newbies) [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Beamer
12-07-10, 06:52 AM
Well I spend most of my working life writing proposals / quotations for equipment that people need, but don't really want, so it makes a nice change to take the sites bandwidth up with the drivel that I produce in the evenings ;)

Pleased it makes you laugh [smiley=thumbsup.gif]
..........

QUOTE: "thank you for making me go to bed with a great big smile on my face"

I may use this as my new signature on here [smiley=happy.gif]Gx



Lmao.......feel free Gerry....he he he he [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Roll_on
12-07-10, 11:03 AM
Gerry,

You need to teach me those swearwords and the prayers you said to the breaking God. I think i need it myself.

[smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Believe me Nicky you don't need to be taught those words, any time you hit a bend that turns out to be tighter than you expected and you have your bike cranked over to almost lying down and your just praying that front tyre hangs on or car driver idiot just pulls out and and you have to rapidly reduce your missile like speed to avoid a certain splat with front forks feeling like 2ins long and the back lifting and hopping all over the place well those words just seem to come naturally and often with a venom you would normally never display.

jonnydangerous
12-07-10, 11:09 AM
Out of Office message..........im sorry, the braking god has gone on annual leave and will be returning to office on 19th Aug. in an emergency please leave a message with god of speedy recovery of broken limbs and panels......

Nico_babe
12-07-10, 11:17 AM
Well i dont think God of speedy recovery is helping as landed in A&E on Sunday night for xrays on my foot. Turns out I sprained my foot, right foot to be exact. Doing nothing but walking LOL. So am hobbling around at work with flip flops on and my foot is the size of a melon and looks like a bruised banana.

Hubbie says i need to stop with the bruising as people are starting to look at him funny. Anway it could be fun to play connect the bruises :)

I can be thankful nothing is broken. Its kinda hard to fit a riding boot over a cast [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

jonnydangerous
12-07-10, 11:48 AM
ummmmm.....actually.....

when my mate "big john" broke his leg in two places (running himself over with a motocross bike) his bike ended up at a mates place....when we went to collect it it wouldnt start, so we had to bump start it and he rode it across salisbury plain with his cast and a black bin bag to keep it from getting wet...... true!

sorry to hear about your "off" tho!
gissa shout if the panels can be repaired, il "stitch you up" i mean charge you a small sum if i can mend them........haha ;-)

Nico_babe
12-07-10, 11:55 AM
Nah im all sorted thanks mate [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Morticia
12-07-10, 06:47 PM
Out of Office message..........im sorry, the braking god has gone on annual leave and will be returning to office on 19th Aug. in an emergency please leave a message with god of speedy recovery of broken limbs and panels......


Hmmm, I thought you were the God of Wheelies (hope I spelt it right this time, or I'm getting some stick)