Anyone fancy a good laugh at my expense?

[Squashed_Fly]

I'm taking part in an acoustic competition at The Abbey Meads pub in Swindon later this month on the 28th.

I'm doing my version of Killing Me Softly (no jokes please - it would be too easy).

Haven't got my time slot yet for the competition, but if I win, I get a £50 bar tab at the pub, plus entry into a national competition with a £500 prize. Winners are decided by the voting audience, so the more support, the better chance I have of winning. And if I do, I'll use the tab to buy you all a drink!

[Jon_W]

I won't be able to make it, but good luck!

:)

[Nooj]

Sounds like fun, what's the criteria for entering?

[Squashed_Fly]

You have to be able to sing. Either to a backing track or instrument.

Other than that, nothing else I don't think!

[wiltshire builders]

Re: Anyone fancy a good laugh at my expense?

Why not? We've been doing it for the last year....... ;)

[Mikkie1986]

Could be interesting... Can we take rotten Veg to throw? Obviously at your competition... ;D

I will come sounds like a giggle ;)

[njl]

I would come along but I can't get outa work on Saturdays.

[Hunar]

Re: Anyone fancy a good laugh at my expense?

Why not? We've been doing it for the last year....... ;)

Hmmm gives me a fund raising idea!!!

SQUASHED FLY SEASON

In a bid to raise forum funds and cover the costs of the lavish expense accounts of the admins, we have decided to offer members a range of licenses for use during 'Squashed Fly Season', similar to a hunting license only on the forum. Each license will grant you a number of digs or 'shots' at Squashed Fly for that season, shots are also graded by severity and their severity can be upgraded. Giving you, our loyal customer, the freedom to choose the amount and severity of the 'shots' depending on your budget.

We will, of course put up clear notices when Squashed Fly Season is open or closed, and anyone found taking 'shots' at Squashed Fly out of season will be perma banned. At the present time the season is closed while we work out the rotation of the seasons closed and open times.

Post content is your choice, but remember that all shots should be directed at SF and no one else should be included or mentioned, failure to comply with this rule will result in a perma ban.

Licences must be purchased for the current season, and any 'shots' left unused from the last season are considered null and void.

As for pricing, this is still under discussion but to give you a rough idea of costs,

Standard shot - £5 - 'Shot' should be a very minor insult, for example "You muppet!"

Shoot from the hip - £10 - 'Shot' should be an intelligent and witty retort to a SF post, but contain no swear words.

Shot in the back - £20 - 'Shot' will take the form of a single post thread that everyone else can read, but SF can't, kind of like a public PM if you will. The post itself will consist of no more than 200 words, and should contain no more than 3 minor obscenities and 1 major one.

Arrow to the knee - £25 - 'Shot' takes the form of 20 randomly placed posts on the forum throughout the current season. Each post MUST be in reply to a current thread, and you cannot start a new topic, you also cannot reply to someone elses 'arrow to the knee' post. The post WILL be worded as follows

'SF used to be a <blank>, then he took an arrow to the knee'

Obviously you fill the blank in yourself, but it shouldn't contain any obscenities.

HEADSHOT! - £10,000 - this is the big one! Firstly a 2000 word locked post on the forum, unlimited insults and obscenities (again we would remind customers thinking of buying this package, that all insults should be directed at SF only and not include any one else). On top of that you will also be given full permission to shave his eyebrows off on the next camping trip. You will also be given access to reword 10 of his posts per season. If that wasn't good enough we will also have a hi-vis tabbard made up that he will wear for each ride out, on the back of this tabbard will be

'WARNING - I RIDE LIKE A <BLANK>'

Obviously you fill the blank in yourself, but as this will be on full public display it must not contain obscenities, obviously. The colour of the hi-vis will also be your choice. We will also throw in a free WB mug, and free helmet storage at any stand we run for you and a pillion, AND the honour of leading the WB into Calne for the bike show.

We plan to include some other 'shots' but those are the ideas at the moment.

We should also point out that we will not be held responsible for any 'trauma' or any other such condition that SF may result in suffering from after a 'shot', all law suits and legal actions should be directed at those people who made the insults.

**EDIT** in printing the new licenses there seemed to be an error at the printers end and they have printed us off more of the 'HUG SHOT' than we requested, we didn't think this would be a very popular shot so originally we only asked for 10, but they have sent us 10,000. So we got them at a good price and as always we want to pass on those savings to our loyal customers so we will be including 100 free 'HUG SHOTS' with every order of out normal shots. If you just wish to purchase 'HUG SHOTS' then they will be £1 per 100, remember they must be used within the season you buy them for. A 'HUG SHOT is a sinle post reply to one of his posts with a <HUG SF> as it's message. To stop any chance of spam, however remote, there will be a limit of 1 'HUG SHOT' reply per SF post, so get yours in quick.

[Squashed_Fly]

Sounds good.... but what's in it for me?

[Hunar]

Sounds good.... but what's in it for me?

Continued membership?
;D ;D

[Mikkie1986]

Sounds expensive.... :-? ;) ;D :D

[Squashed_Fly]

In the words of Peter Jones

"I'm Out"

[Gerry]

Have just put the car on Ebay to raise funds ;D

G :)

[Squashed_Fly]

All I can say, is it's a good job I have a sense of humour!

I'm sure there are other members who would have got quite upset at this! ;D

[Mikkie1986]

All I can say, is it's a good job I have a sense of humour!

I'm sure there are other members who would have got quite upset at this! ;D


Its all friendly banter... ;)

Whats the item number G i will bump up the bids.. ;D

[Jon_W]

Re: Anyone fancy a good laugh at my expense?

Why not? We've been doing it for the last year....... ;)

Hmmm gives me a fund raising idea!!!

SQUASHED FLY SEASON

In a bid to raise forum funds and cover the costs of the lavish expense accounts of the admins, we have decided to offer members a range of licenses for use during 'Squashed Fly Season', similar to a hunting license only on the forum. Each license will grant you a number of digs or 'shots' at Squashed Fly for that season, shots are also graded by severity and their severity can be upgraded. Giving you, our loyal customer, the freedom to choose the amount and severity of the 'shots' depending on your budget.

We will, of course put up clear notices when Squashed Fly Season is open or closed, and anyone found taking 'shots' at Squashed Fly out of season will be perma banned. At the present time the season is closed while we work out the rotation of the seasons closed and open times.

Post content is your choice, but remember that all shots should be directed at SF and no one else should be included or mentioned, failure to comply with this rule will result in a perma ban.

Licences must be purchased for the current season, and any 'shots' left unused from the last season are considered null and void.

As for pricing, this is still under discussion but to give you a rough idea of costs,

Standard shot - £5 - 'Shot' should be a very minor insult, for example "You muppet!"

Shoot from the hip - £10 - 'Shot' should be an intelligent and witty retort to a SF post, but contain no swear words.

Shot in the back - £20 - 'Shot' will take the form of a single post thread that everyone else can read, but SF can't, kind of like a public PM if you will. The post itself will consist of no more than 200 words, and should contain no more than 3 minor obscenities and 1 major one.

Arrow to the knee - £25 - 'Shot' takes the form of 20 randomly placed posts on the forum throughout the current season. Each post MUST be in reply to a current thread, and you cannot start a new topic, you also cannot reply to someone elses 'arrow to the knee' post. The post WILL be worded as follows

'SF used to be a <blank>, then he took an arrow to the knee'

Obviously you fill the blank in yourself, but it shouldn't contain any obscenities.

HEADSHOT! - £10,000 - this is the big one! Firstly a 2000 word locked post on the forum, unlimited insults and obscenities (again we would remind customers thinking of buying this package, that all insults should be directed at SF only and not include any one else). On top of that you will also be given full permission to shave his eyebrows off on the next camping trip. You will also be given access to reword 10 of his posts per season. If that wasn't good enough we will also have a hi-vis tabbard made up that he will wear for each ride out, on the back of this tabbard will be

'WARNING - I RIDE LIKE A <BLANK>'

Obviously you fill the blank in yourself, but as this will be on full public display it must not contain obscenities, obviously. The colour of the hi-vis will also be your choice. We will also throw in a free WB mug, and free helmet storage at any stand we run for you and a pillion, AND the honour of leading the WB into Calne for the bike show.

We plan to include some other 'shots' but those are the ideas at the moment.

We should also point out that we will not be held responsible for any 'trauma' or any other such condition that SF may result in suffering from after a 'shot', all law suits and legal actions should be directed at those people who made the insults.

**EDIT** in printing the new licenses there seemed to be an error at the printers end and they have printed us off more of the 'HUG SHOT' than we requested, we didn't think this would be a very popular shot so originally we only asked for 10, but they have sent us 10,000. So we got them at a good price and as always we want to pass on those savings to our loyal customers so we will be including 100 free 'HUG SHOTS' with every order of out normal shots. If you just wish to purchase 'HUG SHOTS' then they will be £1 per 100, remember they must be used within the season you buy them for. A 'HUG SHOT is a sinle post reply to one of his posts with a <HUG SF> as it's message. To stop any chance of spam, however remote, there will be a limit of 1 'HUG SHOT' reply per SF post, so get yours in quick.



As you landed gentry scum are now partaking of a different form of blood sport, we the Wiltshire Bikers League against Squashed Fly Hunting must monitor your hunt, video you and report you to the police at every opportunity. Hopefully soon the goverment will bring in ineffectual legislation stopping you from deliberatly hunting the Squashed Fly.

Vive the WBLASFH!!!!

:D ;D ;D

[Taylor86]

Only just read this but haven't laughed so hard since... oh wait... it was last night when SF was doing his wide range of accents in the pub!!! ;D ;D

[Nico_babe]

The South African one took the cake!

[BladeTriple]

The South African one took the cake!


Worse than Patsy Kensitt in Lethal Weapon 2 or that guy in District 9 ? 'Fookin Prawn!

[Last Train]

Hmmm gives me a fund raising idea!!!

SQUASHED FLY SEASON

In a bid to raise forum funds and cover the costs of the lavish expense accounts of the admins, we have decided to offer members a range of licenses for use during 'Squashed Fly Season', similar to a hunting license only on the forum. Each license will grant you a number of digs or 'shots' at Squashed Fly for that season, shots are also graded by severity and their severity can be upgraded. Giving you, our loyal customer, the freedom to choose the amount and severity of the 'shots' depending on your budget.

We will, of course put up clear notices when Squashed Fly Season is open or closed, and anyone found taking 'shots' at Squashed Fly out of season will be perma banned. At the present time the season is closed while we work out the rotation of the seasons closed and open times.

Post content is your choice, but remember that all shots should be directed at SF and no one else should be included or mentioned, failure to comply with this rule will result in a perma ban.

Licences must be purchased for the current season, and any 'shots' left unused from the last season are considered null and void.

As for pricing, this is still under discussion but to give you a rough idea of costs,

Standard shot - £5 - 'Shot' should be a very minor insult, for example "You muppet!"

Shoot from the hip - £10 - 'Shot' should be an intelligent and witty retort to a SF post, but contain no swear words.

Shot in the back - £20 - 'Shot' will take the form of a single post thread that everyone else can read, but SF can't, kind of like a public PM if you will. The post itself will consist of no more than 200 words, and should contain no more than 3 minor obscenities and 1 major one.

Arrow to the knee - £25 - 'Shot' takes the form of 20 randomly placed posts on the forum throughout the current season. Each post MUST be in reply to a current thread, and you cannot start a new topic, you also cannot reply to someone elses 'arrow to the knee' post. The post WILL be worded as follows

'SF used to be a <blank>, then he took an arrow to the knee'

Obviously you fill the blank in yourself, but it shouldn't contain any obscenities.

HEADSHOT! - £10,000 - this is the big one! Firstly a 2000 word locked post on the forum, unlimited insults and obscenities (again we would remind customers thinking of buying this package, that all insults should be directed at SF only and not include any one else). On top of that you will also be given full permission to shave his eyebrows off on the next camping trip. You will also be given access to reword 10 of his posts per season. If that wasn't good enough we will also have a hi-vis tabbard made up that he will wear for each ride out, on the back of this tabbard will be

'WARNING - I RIDE LIKE A <BLANK>'

Obviously you fill the blank in yourself, but as this will be on full public display it must not contain obscenities, obviously. The colour of the hi-vis will also be your choice. We will also throw in a free WB mug, and free helmet storage at any stand we run for you and a pillion, AND the honour of leading the WB into Calne for the bike show.

We plan to include some other 'shots' but those are the ideas at the moment.

We should also point out that we will not be held responsible for any 'trauma' or any other such condition that SF may result in suffering from after a 'shot', all law suits and legal actions should be directed at those people who made the insults.

**EDIT** in printing the new licenses there seemed to be an error at the printers end and they have printed us off more of the 'HUG SHOT' than we requested, we didn't think this would be a very popular shot so originally we only asked for 10, but they have sent us 10,000. So we got them at a good price and as always we want to pass on those savings to our loyal customers so we will be including 100 free 'HUG SHOTS' with every order of out normal shots. If you just wish to purchase 'HUG SHOTS' then they will be £1 per 100, remember they must be used within the season you buy them for. A 'HUG SHOT is a sinle post reply to one of his posts with a <HUG SF> as it's message. To stop any chance of spam, however remote, there will be a limit of 1 'HUG SHOT' reply per SF post, so get yours in quick.


http://www.smileyhut.com/laughing/rofl.gif (http://www.smileyhut.com)


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HUNAR FOR PRESIDENT

[Hunar]

HUNAR FOR PRESIDENT

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hunar-for-Prime-Minister/238421977309