"I used to have a bike..."

[Badger-Roy]

Try owning Enfields, they bring people out of the woodwork.

I get the same on my triumph, I’d be willing to bet 25% of the time I go in a garage or a car park I get old boys come up saying “I used to have a triumph but it was a REAL triumph not one of the modern Chinese triumphs”. I’m not sure where all these “Chinese triumphs” are and mines 30 years old so it’s hardly a modern one

[Dazr]

My pet peeve is "I couldn't have a bike, I'd kill myself"

You wouldn't say "I don't go swimming because I'd drown myself" or "I don't do any cooking because I'd accidentally knife myself to death" but somehow it's not moronic to say that riding a bike would result in instant death

Have to agree the numbers of times people say "I couldn't have a bike, I'd kill myself"...

Will respond with I don't do any cooking because I'd accidentally knife myself to death" in the future.