Chicken strips.
Chicken strips are not a measure of how fast on a bike somebody is. If Valentino Rossi lived at one end of a really straight road and worked at the other, would you laugh at his chicken strips? No you wouldn’t. Unless you were a dick. Some people don’t feel the need to ride their bikes off the edge of the tyres, some people can keep their cock in their pants and save it for the track. Some people can run a bike to within a millimeter of the sidewall and not even notice. The only people that seem to care about chicken strips are people with huge chicken strips and people that have been running the same set of tyres they did a track day on three years ago in the hope that someone in a car park might notice and give you that knowing nod that only awesome bikers give to other awesome bikers.
Sky Plus.
You’ve had to miss the racing because it was clearly far more important that you go to that family thing for that relative who’s name you’re glad you can’t remember. No problem, a quick push on the old red button and the racing will be ready and waiting for you when you get back. You spend the entire day ignoring Facebook and Twitter and have to answer your mobile by shouting “I haven’t seen the racing, don’t tell me what happens!” You make it home, you still don’t know the results and you plant yourself in front of the TV with a cold beer and an hour to yourself. You my friend, are in for a treat. Your planned recording turns out to be forty five minutes of tennis, which overran and is clearly far more important than watching gladiators duking it out at 200mph around a circuit that looks like it was created by God himself. What the hell! While you’re swearing and spilling your beer down the sofa, you accidentally lean on the controller and the channel flicks to the closing credits of the race on plus one. Turns out it was the most unbelievable spectacle ever witnessed, you time it perfectly to see a rerun of the finish. Chris Walker is wheelying over the finish line on a bike that’s still on fire, his one off guest ride in MotoGP will never be repeated or bettered and you feel like launching the Skybox through the window.
