The Stupidest Thing You've Done on a Bike Thread.

[Mark_Able]

Story No.4

Same hump-back bridge. Everyone knows you get airbourne at anything over 30mph. On this one particular day, I manage to catch the lights on green, hit the bridge at 45, and as I'm cresting the bridge to take off, realise there's a copper sat on his bike at the lights the other side. 30mph would get you 2 - 3 foot of clear air under your tyres, so you can imagine what 45 would do. There's nothing I can do, I'm committed. All I can see as I try to land the bike discretely and pretend it didn't happen, is this copper absolutely p*ssing himself. I think it was the fact he was so busy laughing that he didn't bother to pull me... ;D

[Green Man]

1983 going over to Bradford on avon on my DT175 MX in red . I pulled a wheelie over the beehive bridge and as I went over the plod were coming over the bridge I thought o f--k so I new he had to turn around to come after me so as I landed I stopped and pulled the clutch cable out and said as I changed gear the cable broke yea ha the twat believed me no points no fine ;D ;D

[bobf279]

Stopped at McD's in Frome, cars doing all sorts of weird things parking so I stop. Van driver signals me to go first, hadn't selected 1st when I stopped and on a slight turning up slope stalled and dropped off sideways :-[ Rob helped pick me up and other concerned citizens asked HIM if the old fella was ok as if I was a bloody aged invalid :P

So that is how I joined the SAD Club (Stopped And Dropped)

[Roxy]

1983 going over to Bradford on avon on my DT175 MX in red . I pulled a wheelie over the beehive bridge and as I went over the plod were coming over the bridge I thought o f--k so I new he had to turn around to come after me so as I landed I stopped and pulled the clutch cable out and said as I changed gear the cable broke yea ha the twat believed me no points no fine ;D ;D

Colin - thats pretty good thinking buddy...well done!!! ;D ;D

[Scotty]

Bit of a long one this, bear with me....

Back in 1984, first year at Northants Agricultural College, myself, girlfriend and mate Jim decided to go stay with gf's parents in Exmouth over the Easter weekend, and take in Stonehenge on the way, maybe photograph it at dawn (having never seen it at the time). Early Saturday morning we head out down the A43 (back in the days when it was single carriageway most of the way to Oxford), me on my Z1000J and Jim and Ali in his Dutton Phaeton kit car. We were making progress along the deserted road in the pre-dawn darkness, and after Towcester I noticed some lights in my mirrors, gaining a little on the straights, dropping back on the bends. Getting into Brackley I looked over my shoulder to see what the car was - Arse! a cop car I flashed my headlight at Jim to warn him and the cop put his blues on and passed me down the high street, but Jim wasn't stopping, getting out of the town he floored it and shot off up the hill with the old bill on his tail (in a 2 litre mk.V Cortina IRV) I wondered what was happening as I followed them and then spotted a side turning to the left, entrance & gate house to some large country house, so I pulled in, parked the bike up and walked down the field following the roadside hedge. I could make out two cars parked in a layby and hear voices so I walked back to the bike and waited, concealed from view. The copper came back up the road, having finished with Jim, and paused to look down where I was, and then drove off. I waited a minute and then rode down to Jim in the layby. "He's looking for you" he told me so, having seen American films I figured that crossing the county line into Oxfordshire would get me out of his jurisdiction (not so as I'm sure Deputy Dawg could confirm, a copper in England has full police powers throughout England and Wales) so I headed off across the boundary and waited at the old filling station at Baynards Green (last roundabout before J10 of the M40 now) and waited on the deserted forecourt. After a minute or two I heard a car approaching and Jim's Dutton appeared, with said copper right on his tail. The copper eyeballed me and stopped right on the roundabout... Bollocks! Fight or flight? Common sense left me and I fired up the Zed, rode the wrong way round the roundabout and pinned it towards Oxford, flying past Jim's car at over 120mph, the ol' Zed a-buckin' and a-weavin (like they did :) and then a rational thought intruded... "I'm now a fugitive (how very Smokey and the Bandit eh?) and he's got a radio... turn off the main road" so I killed the bike's lights and turned off into Ardley, riding through the village using the headlight flasher - not the wisest move as a 90 degree left hander appeared out of the dark quicker than I'd have liked and I failed to negotiate it, dropping the Zed on the offside grass verge, breaking an indicator and slightly bending the bars. I picked her up and continued on my way without a clue as to my exact whereabouts, heading for Swindon by the other roads, keeping the rising sun over my left shoulder and didn't do too badly - Northampton to Swindon via A43 & A420 is about 75 miles, my trip meter showed 78 when I got there Being a fugitive I foresook the Henge and headed down across country, picking up the A303 and finishing with a great blast over Woodbury Common to arrive at Ali's parents' by 0800 on a beautiful sunny morning 8-).
Jim and Ali turned up around 1030 and he wasn't a happy bunny - the copper had radioed ahead and two Happy Valley cars had blocked the road, and as I'd eluded them they gave him the Spanish Inquisition instead "has he nicked it, why did he leg it?" etc and gave his kit car a thorough going over (best avoided if possible) :-/ He told me that they knew my registration, who I was and where I lived and they'd be calling for a chat. As his car was so low, my headlight had been dazzling him in his mirror so he'd turned it up and hadn't seen me flashing him, nor the copper with his blues on when under the streetlights of Brackley...

I made up my story, it wasn't me, must have been someone else and was ready to give it a try when they came round. The PC dealing came to see me on the following Tuesday, sat on the sofa and got his paperwork out, made a couple of notes and said "Before you say anything, I saw your number at the filling station (a bluff, I don't think he could have from where he was), and I have two coppers from Oxford who'll stand up in court and testify that your girlfriend and mate confirmed that it was you on the bike doing a runner" (probably not a bluff, but he was experienced and knew all the tricks)... Bugger, time for plan B... nothing left to do but 'fess up so I admitted to it.
He said he'd only wanted to give me and Jim a breath test and tell us to keep the speeds down a bit, but now he was reporting me for speeding, failing to stop and ignoring a road sign (keep left arrow on roundabout), and it had the desired effect of deeply worrying me as I already had 6 points on my licence and needed it for my upcoming sandwich year placement for college. Deep buggeration, could require an expensive brief and lots of grovelling and contrition in front of the magistrates in order to keep my licence.
The Summons arrived a couple of agonising months later and imagine my relief to find they were only doing me for speeding - 3 points and a £40 fine. Moral of the story? Don't dick around with the old bill, they'll win!

[zachl]

more inexperience then stupid.

was riding through westbury trading estate with a mate, maybe 4 weeks after passing my test. my mate in front me following, we pulled over to have a quick chat about something, then checked for cars and nailed it off,

car then went to pull out of a junction in front of my mate. but thought better of it, but then decided to pull out in front of me, but leave himself right across the road in both lanes, was probably doing about 60, panicked. grabbed the front brake which locked up the wheel, and sent me sliding and rolling down the road, car driver accepted no responsibilty and his answer to the poilce was 'i didnt pull out'

but after about 6 weeks my concussion was pretty much gone and the cbr 600 looked better than before

[Jon_W]

I think the most stupid thing I've ever done with a bike was whilst re-building the Honda. Was putting the head on to the engine, got distracted and didn't check that the guide tubes and seals were there..... wondered why it pi55ed oil out of the cylinder head when I ran it! Found the guides still in the cylinder head parts box and the question was answered.... 4 hours later + a new head gasket I'd rectified my stupidity, and It stopped leaking!!!

:P

[zachl]

haha actually you have just reminded me of something very stupid lol

after the accident me and my mate were stripping the bike down to be sent off to the sprayer. i then decided i had might as well refurb the wheels. we put the bike up on the centre stand, took off the rear wheel. then started on the front, we needed to get a bit of leverage to get the front wheel up so he sat on the floor holding the front wheel, i sat on the bike and sat back so all weight was on the center stand.

the front wheel was a little stuck, 'take it off the center stand a sec' said my mate, so i did lol 'CRASH' whoops we had forgotten it had no rear wheel on, so the frame went smashing into the floor, luckily it didnt land in the chain, and didnt cause any damage to anything, although we both felt completly stupid lol

[Cemorah]

Way back I had an SR500. for those not that old this is a 500 single which was coaxed into life with thing called a kickstart. There is a technique which must be adhered to military fashion and requires a full blooded stomp on the kickstarter. Any half arsed attempt is likely to result in severe bruising to the back of the leg as the engine spits back. I prided myself on knowing the machine and the various choke and throttle settings and could get it to fire on the first or second attempt everytime. One winters morn I donned the garb and set off across the farmyard to the bike. A combination of muddy boot, wet kickstarter and lack of forethought had my foot slip off in mid heave. The whole of my weight going south and to the right is halted dramatically as the B*tch fires back driving the kickstarter up inside my waterproofs. Thus incapacitated I am unable to reach the ground and off balance i cannot counteract the 350lb pull as the bike drags me inevitably earthwards.

Bike 1, riders pride 0.

[Mark_Able]

I love this thread... ;D ;D ;D