Originally Posted by Gerry
I went there with the usual crowd. We get there at about 3.30am in time to get changed into our gowns and prepare a huge fire in the traditional way ready for the sacrifice and bacon sandwiches (obviously that’s veggie bacon which comes from a small plant grown in the Amazon which tastes a bit like monkey poo but is kind to the environment).
We usually get into a small circle, well it’s got to be a small one as there’s only the five of us now since Gor (real name Trevor) set light to his fake fur leggins and did himself a mischief. Anyway we have a little sing-song and do a bit of the old chanting and then do our special dance to invoke the God of the Wood-Nymphs to come out and show him (or her) self.
As he (or she) is obviously invisible, this provokes quite a bit of debate as Conan (real name Barry) claims to have seen something every year, but we’re not sure as he’s always stoned and has dodgy eye at the best of times.
As we see the first glimpse of the sun coming up (or this morning when the clouds get a bit less dark) we all
hold hands and hum for about twenty minutes, I’m not sure why but that’s what we always do. I personally aren’t that keen as it makes my lips tingle something rotten, but I suppose we all have to suffer (as the Lord said) for our religion.
As usual, although we asked around, we couldn’t find a virgin to sacrifice, which was really a good job as the fire kept going out and we had to use a Tesco’s throw away barbeque instead. Anyway, Princess Magdalena (Sharon from Bristol) said that being a veggie and sacrificing virgins didn’t really go together so we just had a packet of crisps (sea salt and hummus) and a drink of pure water from the highlands of Scotland.
By this time I couldn’t move my legs as I’d been sat cross legged for quite a time and had serious pins and needles in my feet so I decided to go and swear at a policeman (which we call the Devils Dogs ) although only today, as I know a few and they seem really nice people, but I fell over due to my dead legs and when one of them helped me up I didn’t have the heart to swear at him.
So all in all not a bad morning, and we decided that next year we will get some new gowns and are going to design a sort of evil, flower like veggie design on them, especially after what I thought was the smell wafting over of illegal substances was in fact that I’d been sitting in a pile of sheep ****.
Peace on you…
G 8-)